neurotic need

there is 2 types of neurotic needs i over use. they are personal achievement and self sufficiency and independence. personal achievement is when some1 works hadr and hard to achieve highergoals, and fear of failure and also is never satisfied.  i suffer this because when i play sports i never want to do mistakes and always want win the first place trophies. and second place in never enough its win first or nothing. also i try to do it in my presentations. i try hard and work hard to get the most points out of it. this is so because i once dressed the part of a female to get my full point, i went all out for this presentation. and in doing this for my sport and presentations i get aggressive and demanding qualities people tend to avoid. The other neurotic need is the self sufficienct and independence. I always try to do things for my own because i feel if i depend on others it may not work out the way i want. but this tend to push me away from friends.